CH

哦，我怀念背叛的吻
虚荣的无耻之吻
柔软，黑色，丝绒般
紧贴我身侧
而嘴、眼睛、心都在流血
流淌在贪婪渐厚的溪流中
一点一点滋生需要
去放下我的拿手戏

我怀念背叛的吻
满足前的痛吻
对一具更年轻肉体的爱的恶臭
及它深切时发出的声响
屈膝上方的表现
两面三刀的瘾
一点一点滋生需要
去放下我的拿手戏

但我从没说过我会呆到最后
所以我留给你婴儿们，对频率的希望
在对保密的希望中如此尖叫
一遍一遍又一遍尖叫着我
我留给你照片，诡计的照片
地毯上的污渍，风景上的污点
梦里咕哝过的幸福歌曲
当我们都知道结局会怎样

所以一切又转悠回到分裂
就像我由玻璃打造一样分裂
又在我背后组成
又因畏惧睡眠屏住呼吸
又在我脑后举起
又深切入骨头核心
一圈一圈又一圈，一切又要分裂
一遍一遍又一遍

现在我知道我已四分五裂
我将拖出我的心，把它喂给任何人
我哭着寻求同情，鳄鱼哭
为了人群的爱
来自每个人的三声欢呼
从天而降
穿过屋顶玻璃
穿过你的嘴的最高处
穿过你眼睛的入口
穿过针眼
对我，接近天堂更容易
相比再次感到完整

但我从没说过我会呆到最后
我早知道会留给你婴儿们和一切
在真诚的洞眼里如此尖叫
一遍一遍又一遍尖叫着它
我留给你照片，诡计的照片
以及地毯上的污渍，回忆上的污点
及梦里咕哝过的幸福歌曲
当我们都知道结局会怎样
结局总这样

结局总这样
结局总这样
结局总这样
结局总这样
总是
总是

/

Disintegration
解体

Oh, I miss the kiss of treachery
哦，我怀念背叛的吻
The shameless kiss of vanity
虚荣的无耻之吻
The soft and the black and the velvety
柔软，黑色，丝绒般
Up tight against the side of me
紧贴我身侧
And mouth and eyes and heart all bleed
而嘴、眼睛、心都在流血
And run in thickening streams of greed
流淌在贪婪渐厚的溪流中
As bit by bit it starts the need
一点一点滋生需要
To just let go my party piece
去放下我的拿手戏

I miss the kiss of treachery
我怀念背叛的吻
The aching kiss before I feed
满足前的痛吻
The stench of a love for a younger meat
对一具更年轻肉体的爱的恶臭
And the sound that it makes when it cuts in deep
及它深切时发出的声响
The holding up on bended knees
屈膝上方的表现
The addiction of duplicities
两面三刀的瘾
As bit by bit it starts the need
一点一点滋生需要
To just let go my party piece
去放下我的拿手戏

But I never said I would stay to the end
但我从没说过我会呆到最后
So I leave you with babies and hoping for frequency
所以我留给你婴儿们，对频率的希望
Screaming like this in the hope of the secrecy
在对保密的希望中如此尖叫
Screaming me over and over and over
一遍一遍又一遍尖叫着我
I leave you with photographs, pictures of trickery
我留给你照片，诡计的照片
Stains on the carpet and stains on the scenery
地毯上的污渍，风景上的污点
Songs about happiness murmured in dreams
梦里咕哝过的幸福歌曲
When we both of us knew how the ending would be
当我们都知道结局会怎样

So it’s all come back round to breaking apart again
所以一切又转悠回到分裂
Breaking apart like I’m made up of glass again
就像我由玻璃打造一样分裂
Making it up behind my back again
又在我背后组成
Holding my breath for the fear of sleep again
又因畏惧睡眠屏住呼吸
Holding it up behind my head again
又在我脑后举起
Cut in the deep to the heart of the bone again
又深切入骨头核心
Round and round and round and it’s coming apart again
一圈一圈又一圈，一切又要分裂
Over and over and over
一遍一遍又一遍

And now that I know that I’m breaking to pieces
现在我知道我已四分五裂
I’ll pull out my heart and I’ll feed it to anyone
我将拖出我的心，把它喂给任何人
I’m crying for sympathy, crocodiles cry
我哭着寻求同情，鳄鱼哭
For the love of the crowd
为了人群的爱
And the three cheers from everyone
来自每个人的三声欢呼
Dropping through sky
从天而降
Through the glass of the roof
穿过屋顶玻璃
Through the roof of your mouth
穿过你的嘴的最高处
Through the mouth of your eye
穿过你眼睛的入口
Through the eye of the needle
穿过针眼
It’s easier for me to get closer to Heaven
对我，接近天堂更容易
Than ever feel whole again
相比再次感到完整

But I never said I would stay to the end
但我从没说过我会呆到最后
I knew I would leave you with babies and everything
我早知道会留给你婴儿们和一切
Screaming like this in the hole of sincerity
在真诚的洞眼里如此尖叫
Screaming it over and over and over
一遍一遍又一遍尖叫着它
I leave you with photographs, pictures of trickery
我留给你照片，诡计的照片
And stains on the carpet and stains on the memory
以及地毯上的污渍，回忆上的污点
And songs about happiness murmured in dreams
及梦里咕哝过的幸福歌曲
When we both of us knew how the end always is
当我们都知道结局会怎样
How the end always is
结局总这样

How the end always is
结局总这样
How the end always is
结局总这样
How the end always is
结局总这样
How the end always is
结局总这样
Always is
总是
Always is
总是

/

Disintegration

Oh, I miss the kiss of treachery
The shameless kiss of vanity
The soft and the black and the velvety
Up tight against the side of me
And mouth and eyes and heart all bleed
And run in thickening streams of greed
As bit by bit it starts the need
To just let go my party piece

I miss the kiss of treachery
The aching kiss before I feed
The stench of a love for a younger meat
And the sound that it makes when it cuts in deep
The holding up on bended knees
The addiction of duplicities
As bit by bit it starts the need
To just let go my party piece

But I never said I would stay to the end
So I leave you with babies and hoping for frequency
Screaming like this in the hope of the secrecy
Screaming me over and over and over
I leave you with photographs, pictures of trickery
Stains on the carpet and stains on the scenery
Songs about happiness murmured in dreams
When we both of us knew how the ending would be

So it’s all come back round to breaking apart again
Breaking apart like I’m made up of glass again
Making it up behind my back again
Holding my breath for the fear of sleep again
Holding it up behind my head again
Cut in the deep to the heart of the bone again
Round and round and round and it’s coming apart again
Over and over and over

And now that I know that I’m breaking to pieces
I’ll pull out my heart and I’ll feed it to anyone
I’m crying for sympathy, crocodiles cry
For the love of the crowd
And the three cheers from everyone
Dropping through sky
Through the glass of the roof
Through the roof of your mouth
Through the mouth of your eye
Through the eye of the needle
It’s easier for me to get closer to Heaven
Than ever feel whole again

But I never said I would stay to the end
I knew I would leave you with babies and everything
Screaming like this in the hole of sincerity
Screaming it over and over and over
I leave you with photographs, pictures of trickery
And stains on the carpet and stains on the memory
And songs about happiness murmured in dreams
When we both of us knew how the end always is
How the end always is

How the end always is
How the end always is
How the end always is
How the end always is
Always is
Always is

https://genius.com/The-cure-disintegration-lyrics

我在你生命里扮的角色多不顶用，几乎好像我不是你丈夫，好像我们从未作为夫和妻一块生活过。那时，你什么样？
对我，你的脸还是美，但不再是迈克尔·弗瑞为之冒死的那张脸了。为什么我感到情绪翻滚？什么引发了它？那趟马车？在我吻她手时她没反应时？我姑妈的聚会？我自己愚蠢的演说？酒，跳舞，音乐？可怜的朱莉娅姑妈……她唱《盛装待嫁》时她脸上那憔悴样。很快，她也会成个幽魂，跟帕特里克·莫肯和他的马的幽魂为伴。
很快，可能，我会坐在那同样客厅里，一身黑，窗帘放下来，绞尽脑汁找些安慰话。只会找到苍白无用的字句。是的，是的。那很快就会发生。
是的，报纸没说错：雪覆盖了整个爱尔兰。落在晦暗的中央平原的每一部分，落在秃山上，轻洒艾伦沼泽，接着，更往西，轻落入香永河黑暗不驯的波浪中。一个接一个我们都在变成幽魂。最好在某种激情全盛时，大胆进入另一世界，好过随年龄沉闷褪色干枯。在你心里你把你情人眼睛的模样锁起来多久了，当他告诉你他确实不想活下去时？我自己对任何女人从没那样感受过，但我知道那样一种感受一定是爱。想想所有那些存活过的人，回到时间开端。而我，片刻如他们，也正闪灭进入他们的灰色世界。像绕着我的一切，这个他们树立过生活过的坚实世界，正消退并消融。雪在下。落在那埋葬迈克尔·弗瑞的孤零零墓地里。隐隐落在宇宙间，隐隐落下，一如其终结之降临，落到所有生者和死者身上。

/

How poor a part I’ve played in your life, it’s almost as though I’m not your husband, and we’ve never lived together as man and wife. What were you like, then?
我在你生命里扮的角色多不顶用，几乎好像我不是你丈夫，好像我们从未作为夫和妻一块生活过。那时，你什么样？
To me, your face is still beautiful, but it’s no longer the one for which Michael Furey braved death. Why am I feeling this riot of emotion? What started it up? A ride in the cab? When not responding when I kissed her hand? My aunt’s party? My own foolish speech? Wine, dancing, music? Poor Aunt Julia … That haggard look on her face when she was singing Arrayed for the Bridal. Soon, she’ll be a shade too, with the shade of Patrick Morkan and his horse.
对我，你的脸还是美，但不再是迈克尔·弗瑞为之冒死的那张脸了。为什么我感到情绪翻滚？什么引发了它？那趟马车？在我吻她手时她没反应时？我姑妈的聚会？我自己愚蠢的演说？酒，跳舞，音乐？可怜的朱莉娅姑妈……她唱《盛装待嫁》时她脸上那憔悴样。很快，她也会成个幽魂，跟帕特里克·莫肯和他的马的幽魂为伴。
Soon, perhaps, I’ll be sitting in that same drawing-room, dressed in black, the blinds would be drawn down, and I’d be casting about in my mind for words of consolation. And would find only lame and useless ones. Yes, yes. That will happen very soon.
很快，可能，我会坐在那同样客厅里，一身黑，窗帘放下来，绞尽脑汁找些安慰话。只会找到苍白无用的字句。是的，是的。那很快就会发生。
Yes, the newspapers are right: Snow is general all over Ireland. Falling on every part of the dark central plain, on the treeless hills, softly upon the Bog of Allen, and, farther westward, softly falling into the dark mutinous Shannon waves. One by one we are all becoming shades. Better pass boldly into that other world, in the full glory of some passion, than fade and wither dismally with age. How long you locked away in your heart, the image of your lover’s eyes when he told you that he did not wish to live? I’ve never felt like that myself towards any woman, but I know that such a feeling must be love. Think of all those who ever were, back to the start of time. And me, transient as they, flickering out as well into their grey world. Like everything around me, this solid world itself, which they reared and lived in, is dwindling and dissolving. Snow is falling. Falling in that lonely churchyard where Michael Furey lays buried. Falling faintly through the universe, and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.
是的，报纸没说错：雪覆盖了整个爱尔兰。落在晦暗的中央平原的每一部分，落在秃山上，轻洒艾伦沼泽，接着，更往西，轻落入香永河黑暗不驯的波浪中。一个接一个我们都在变成幽魂。最好在某种激情全盛时，大胆进入另一世界，好过随年龄沉闷褪色干枯。在你心里你把你情人眼睛的模样锁起来多久了，当他告诉你他确实不想活下去时？我自己对任何女人从没那样感受过，但我知道那样一种感受一定是爱。想想所有那些存活过的人，回到时间开端。而我，片刻如他们，也正闪灭进入他们的灰色世界。像绕着我的一切，这个他们树立过生活过的坚实世界，正消退并消融。雪在下。落在那埋葬迈克尔·弗瑞的孤零零墓地里。隐隐落在宇宙间，隐隐落下，一如其终结之降临，落到所有生者和死者身上。

/

How poor a part I’ve played in your life, it’s almost as though I’m not your husband, and we’ve never lived together as man and wife. What were you like, then?
To me, your face is still beautiful, but it’s no longer the one for which Michael Furey braved death. Why am I feeling this riot of emotion? What started it up? A ride in the cab? When not responding when I kissed her hand? My aunt’s party? My own foolish speech? Wine, dancing, music? Poor Aunt Julia … That haggard look on her face when she was singing Arrayed for the Bridal. Soon, she’ll be a shade too, with the shade of Patrick Morkan and his horse.
Soon, perhaps, I’ll be sitting in that same drawing-room, dressed in black, the blinds would be drawn down, and I’d be casting about in my mind for words of consolation. And would find only lame and useless ones. Yes, yes. That will happen very soon.
Yes, the newspapers are right: Snow is general all over Ireland. Falling on every part of the dark central plain, on the treeless hills, softly upon the Bog of Allen, and, farther westward, softly falling into the dark mutinous Shannon waves. One by one we are all becoming shades. Better pass boldly into that other world, in the full glory of some passion, than fade and wither dismally with age. How long you locked away in your heart, the image of your lover’s eyes when he told you that he did not wish to live? I’ve never felt like that myself towards any woman, but I know that such a feeling must be love. Think of all those who ever were, back to the start of time. And me, transient as they, flickering out as well into their grey world. Like everything around me, this solid world itself, which they reared and lived in, is dwindling and dissolving. Snow is falling. Falling in that lonely churchyard where Michael Furey lays buried. Falling faintly through the universe, and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.

/

中字（红雨字幕组）：

我在你生活里扮演了多么可怜的角色，仿佛我不是你的丈夫，仿佛我们从未像夫妻一样在一起生活过。那么，我们是什么？
对我，你的脸庞仍然美丽，但那不再是迈克尔·福瑞为之慨然殉情的脸庞。为什么我感到情绪激动？是什么引起的呢？在马车上吗？当我吻她的手没有反应的时候？是姨妈的晚宴，还是我自己愚蠢的演讲，是因为饮酒，跳舞，音乐吗？可怜的朱莉娅姨妈……她唱《盛装待嫁》时，我曾在瞬间看见过她脸上憔悴的面容。不久她也会成为一个幽灵，和帕特里克·莫肯以及他的马的幽灵在一起的幽灵。
或许，不久，我就会坐在那同一个客厅里，穿着黑色的衣服，窗帘被放下来，而我会搜肠刮肚地寻找一些可以安慰她的话。结果却只是找出了一些不着边际的无用字句。是，是的，那种情况很快就会发生。
是的，报纸是对的：整个爱尔兰都在下雪。雪落在阴晦的中部平原的每一片土地上，落在没有树木的山丘上，轻轻地落在艾伦沼地上，往西，轻轻地落进山农河面汹涌澎湃的黑浪之中。一个接一个，我们全都要变成幽灵。最好在某种激情全盛时期，勇敢地进入那另一个世界，切莫随着年龄增长而凄凉地衰败枯萎。你多年来如何在心里深锁着，当你的情人告诉你他不想活下去时的眼神。我觉得自己从未对任何女人有那样的感情，但我知道这样一种感情一定是爱。想想所有这曾经的一切，重返时间的起源。连我自己本身，也在逐渐消失到一个灰色的无形世界。这个实在的世界本身，这些死者曾一度在这里养育生息的世界，正在渐渐消解和缩小。雪在下。雪花落在埋葬迈克尔·福瑞的孤零零的教堂墓地。雪花轻轻地穿过宇宙，轻轻地，就像他们的结局似的，落到所有生者和死者身上。

——约翰·休斯顿《死者》

……就技术层面，卡什从不是一位伟大歌手：他的音域不广，他的音高常晃，他气息控制的不足有时让他在词尾抓住声音不放。但就通过嗓音展现个性而言，他是个伟大歌手；他的情感范围从辛纳屈式的昂首阔步到一种近乎令人难堪的亲密脆弱，他可自信唱出的音符范围，有多广就有多窄。这样的歌手真不会随年龄失去太多；事实上，他甚至推进了演绎深度……
……诸如“穿上我的死人服戴上我的微笑骷髅戒指/穿上我的幸运墓地靴唱起我的歌”之类歌词……

……Cash was never a great singer in a technical sense: he hadn’t much range, his pitch often wobbled, and his lack of breath control sometimes found him grasping for sound at the end of lines. But he was a great singer in the sense of projecting a persona through his voice; his emotional range, which went from a Sinatra-like swagger to an almost embarrassingly intimate vulnerability, was as wide as the spread of notes he could hit confidently was narrow. Such a singer doesn’t really lose that much with age; in fact, he gains even more interpretive depth……
……with lines like “Got on my dead man’s suit and my smilin’ skull ring/My lucky graveyard boots and song to sing.” ……

https://www.allmusic.com/album/american-v-a-hundred-highways-mw0000421094

这些光

在水中，水车转动。
一颗星和月亮运转。

我们生活在夜的海洋，想知道
这些光是什么？

These lights

Inside water, a waterwheel turns.
A star circulates with the moon.

We live in the night ocean wondering
What are these lights?

花开

花开每夜
划过天空，一种呼吸着的宁静，
突然起火。

Flowers Open

Flowers open every night
across the sky, a breathing peace,
and sudden flame catching.

——《A YEAR WITH RUMI: MAY 23 & MAY 24》